Karening

3 years gone

Three years ago today, my Mom died. That 1st year is a blur. Last year was way worse than year one. What should I expect from year 3? Is there a Death Anniversary gift list? Or maybe a “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” Grief book?

I spent the day at the spa writing my Mom’s eulogy. I didn’t love the one I wrote and read at her funeral. I’ve always wanted to rewrite it, so today at the spa, I did:

My Mom wasn’t one for social media fanfare. She didn’t have a Facebook or Linked In. No dramatic posts about vacations, gifts or family wins. No shoutouts or links or swipe up. Her praise was not outward or loud. When she experienced exceptional service or kindness, she’d thank the person directly and then tell their manager or boss.

She did it for the good experiences, and yes, sometimes after too many chances, for the not-so-great ones too. But overwhelmingly, she spread the good news, mostly the positive kind. After giving plenty of chances, she’d share what was wonderful far more than what wasn’t.

And isn’t that what we talked about in church every single Sunday (even on vacation)?! Spreading the good news. It was part of her: spread the good news. That lesson sank in deep.

She was the opposite of what people mean by “Karen” these days - the entitled, complaining stereotype. But here’s the fun twist: what if we reclaimed a little “Karening” in her name? Not the negative version, but the version where we advocate for people who are shining bright. My Mom had magic for seeing potential, effort, and kindness in others, then ensuring their boss, their teacher, or their community knew about it. She helped businesses, students, and everyday people get the credit they deserved.

I’m going to try to honor that now. I’ll leave glowing reviews, compliment people openly, ask to speak to the manager (for good news!). That’s how my Mom operated - not seeking attention, just making sure goodness got recognized.

Her legacy: see the good, speak it up, spread the news.

Imagine if her legacy sparked a trend: Be a Karen who Karens for the good! Karens be KARENING! Good Karening! Spot the helpers, the hard workers and the kind souls… and make sure their light gets amplified.

My Mom still shows up for me in the strangest, sweetest ways: a pig sighting, an avocado that appears in the most bizarre places, Steven Tyler on the speakers (at Target). Maybe for you, Pi Day sparks your memory of her or when you pull out one of her old baking dishes. How cool would it be if her spirit kept inspiring us to notice the good and lift it up?

Those signs remind us she’s still here, cheering us on to notice the good and speak it out.

Mom, thank you for your quiet strength, your generous heart, and for showing us how to spread the good news every day. We’ll keep Karening (in the very best way) because of you.

~Jen